influencing the behaviour of muslim youth and their parents

The purpose of this article is to evaluate the factors influencing the behavior of children and how to modify them so that they grow as model citizens practicing Islam in their community, become a source of joy and comfort to their parents, and maintain family harmony. Children are very susceptible to any and every influence.
The parents (and close relatives living with them like uncles and grandparents) have only 25% influence in a 6-16 year old child. 50% is by peers at school or in the community. 25% is from the teachers and other sources of education outside home i.e. media, mainly TV (and magazines for older youths). The influence of parents is high during early age (0-8 years, up to 80%), but as the child discovers new friends and ideas, he or she grows independent from the influence of parents.

1. The American
The American scene of the behavior of children and adults is changing. While it is difficult to qualify the behavior at home, the same at school has been published.

Peers
Keep children in the company of good Muslim children after school and during weekends to dilute the unavoidable influence of undesirable elements at school.
School
Choose a school in a good location (neighborhood) irrespective of it being private or public. Get to know the teachers personally and interact with them.
Media
Watch TV with your children, and select good educational and entertainment programs.
2. Role of Parents in Influencing The Behavior of Their Children
Love
Information
Decisions
Problems With The Parents
a. If the parents are authoritarian, the child becomes fearful of making mistakes, starts lying for the fear of being punished and feels insecure.
b. If the parents are emotionally disturbed and depressed themselves they will not have time for the children, leading them to withdraw, become depressed or develop anti-social activities.
c. If the parents are perfectionists and expect the child to be perfect all the time, the child will have two options. Either he or she will live up to the expectations, or will develop opposite tendencies
d. The over-protective, anxious parent cannot raise a confident child ready to deal with the real life.
e. The parent who cannot say no to a child, spoils him or her by providing him or her with every wish every time. This child will demand whatever he or she wants immediately and put on a manipulative show to get it.
f. Parents who take sides in sibling rivalry encourage jealousy and hate.

How Parents Can Communicate With Their Children
a. Find a time and place to talk to your children.
b. When you do argue, do it patiently, one person speaking at a time. Be specific and separate emotions from facts. Speak in a low voice.
c. Practice active listening to each other's view, even if you don't agree.
d. Refrain from sarcasm, name calling, humiliation, pointing your finger
e. Encourage each other even in areas of shortcomings, rather than making fun or making a negative remark.

Influencing The Behavior Through Daily Household Chores
How About Infants and Pre-Schoolers
Bill of Rights for Muslim Children
a. Muslim children have the right to learn and practice Islam even if one of their parents is a non-Muslim, or non-practicing Muslim.
b. They have a right to be treated as a person, in an environment that is conducive to their growth and maturity and to become useful citizens.
3. They have a right to receive love, care, discipline, and protection from their parents.
4. They have a right to receive education, and financial protection for the future.
Bill of Rights for Muslim Parents
1. Parents have a right to receive love, respect and affection from their children as mentioned in the Quran.
2. Parents have a right to educate and discipline their children as men- tioned in the Quran and shown by the example of Prophet Muhammad []
3. Parents have a right to know more about their children, and moni- tor other influences affecting them.
4. Parents have a right to say no to unusual financial and other demands of children.
Finally
"Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them any word of contempt, nor repulse them, but address them in terms of honor, and out of kindness lower to them your wings of submission, and say, 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they cared for me in my childhood"' (17:23-24).

Islamic Education

Introduction 
The islamic values education curriculum called for here focuses on personality and character development of children. If we hope to succeed in our goal to raise our children Islamically, Muslim educators and parents must develop a better understanding of how children grow and learn. They will become moral individuals by cultivating their minds and hearts, and by having opportunities to actually see and apply Islamic values in practice.

The Challenge

The pervasive influence of secular materialism and its value system seriously  challenges religious-minded individuals and communities. Without a proper understanding of the Islamic value system, there is little hope that the true goals, or maqasid of Islamic education can be achieved.

Fortunately, a sense of renewal is in the air today and enlightened Muslims are eager to find real he solutions to the problem s and challenges facing the Muslim. Including re-examination of both how and what we teach our children about Islam.

Islamic education must be able to produce Muslim youth that are able to identify, understand and then work cooperatively to solve the problems that face their community and the world in which they live and for which they are responsible.

This vision, in fact, is not really a “new vision, “ but rather a”renewed vision” of Islamic education. This is the challenge of modern-day Islamic education.

The Vision

The vision of Islamic education presented here makes a fundamental distinction between teaching about “Islamic” and teaching about “being Muslim”.

Several assumptions about the nature and scope of Islamic education under-gird the vision of Islamic education presented here.

In developing our approach, we should not hesitate to benefit from recent educational research. This research suggest that several factors are essential for effective teaching and learning to occur. These factors are summarized in the statement such as:

1.      Effective Islamic teaching and learning must be meaningful

2.      Effective Islamic teaching and learning must also be integrated

3.      Most important of all, effective Islamic teaching and learning must be value-based

4.      Effective Islamic teaching and learning must also be challenging

5.      Effective Islamic teaching and learning must be active

These are the key factors for effective Islamic teaching and learning. Islamic education is to prepare young men and women who are capable of carrying out this mission-emotionally, morally, and intellectually.

my mother by yusuf islam

Who should I give my love to?
My respect and my honor to
Who should I pay good mind to?
After Allah And Rasulullah

Comes your mother
Who next? Your mother
Who next? Your mother
And then your father

Cause who used to hold you
And clean you and clothes you
Who used to feed you?
And always be with you
When you were sick
Stay up all night
Holding you tight
That's right no other
My mother

Who should I take good care of?
Giving all my love
Who should I think most of?
After Allah And Rasulullah
Comes your mother
Who next? Your mother
Who next? Your mother
And then your father

Cause who used to hear you
Before you could talk
Who used to hold you?
Before you could walk
And when you fell who picked you up
Clean your cut
No one but your mother
My mother

Who should I say why close to?
Listen most to
Never say no to
After Allah And Rasulullah

Comes your mother
Who next? Your mother
Who next? Your mother
And then your father

Cause who used to hug you
And buy you new clothes
Comb your hair
And blow your nose
And when you cry
Who wiped your tears?
Knows your fears

Who really cares? My mother
Say Alhamdulillah
Thank you Allah
Thank you Allah
For my mother.